Roast This Site
Brutally honest website feedback

Your website called. It wants an intervention.

Send us your URL and get a roast that's funny enough to share, followed by a real list of fixes that actually bring in customers.

Free. No signup. Mild emotional damage. We'll email you a copy, plus the occasional tip. Unsubscribe anytime.

Example share card for jwazmedia.com, rated Lightly Toasted: “Loads in 76 milliseconds, which is faster than my patience. Four images still have no alt text. Fix that.”

How it works

1

Send your URL

Website, Etsy shop, or Google listing. If it's on the internet, it's fair game.

2

Get roasted

A brutally funny review of your site, with a share card built for TikTok, Instagram, and LinkedIn.

3

Get fixed

Under the jokes, a serious fix list. Want it done for you? We can do that too.

We say what your web designer won't.

Every roast starts with the 5-second test, then checks the four things that quietly cost you customers.

The 5-second test

"In 5 seconds, I thought you sold insurance. You sell cupcakes."

What a first-time visitor thinks you do before they leave. If it's wrong, nothing else matters.

Speed

"Customers aged three years waiting for this page."

Copy

"'Welcome to our website' is not a sales pitch."

Mobile

"On a phone, your menu is a game of Twister."

SEO

"Google has you filed under 'witness protection.'"

Pick your heat level

Start free. Upgrade when you're ready to stop being roasted. All prices in USD.

Mild

Free

The roast, a share card, and your top three fixes.

Roast me

Medium

$19 one-time

Full audit report: SEO, speed, copy, and mobile, with every fix spelled out.

Get the audit

Hot

Most popular
$49/month

We rewrite your website copy, plus a fresh roast every month to keep you honest. Cancel anytime.

Start fixing

Extra Crispy

From $500

We tear your site down and rebuild it properly. Done for you, quoted per project.

Get a quote

What you get in the $19 audit

01The full roastEvery joke, plus the share card.
02The 5-second testWhat visitors think you do, and how to fix it.
03Your scorecardSpeed, copy, mobile, and SEO, each scored 1 to 10 with reasons.
04Top fixes, rankedOrdered by how much they'll help and how hard they are.
05One-hour quick winsChanges you can make this afternoon.
06Plain-English instructionsNo jargon. Just what to change and where.

Paste your URL. Lose your dignity. Gain customers.

Questions, quotes, or ready to get roasted? Email us and a real human will answer within one business day.

hello@roastthissite.com

The fine print

Refund policy

Audits ($19): if we haven't delivered your audit yet, you can cancel for a full refund. If you're unhappy with a delivered audit, email us within 14 days and we'll make it right or refund you.

Monthly plan ($49/month): cancel anytime and you won't be charged again. We don't refund partial months.

Rebuilds: deposits are refundable until work begins. After that, refunds follow the terms in your written project quote.

Terms of service

Roasts are opinions about websites, written to be funny and useful. They're not legal, financial, or technical guarantees. You're responsible for any changes you make to your own site.

Free roasts are limited per person per day. Some sites block automated visitors; when that happens we'll roast them by hand instead. By submitting a URL, you confirm it's your website or you have permission to have it reviewed. We won't publish your roast without your permission.

Privacy

We save your email and the website you submit so we can deliver your roast, send occasional tips and offers (unsubscribe anytime), and stop abuse of the free roast. We don't sell your information. Anyone with your roast's link can view it. Payments are processed securely by Stripe; we never see or store your card number.

Roast This Site is a service of JWaz Media LLC, Pennsylvania, USA. Contact: hello@roastthissite.com